Chocolate

Yesterday I heard some disturbing news that the worlds chocolate supply is threatened by the cocoa crisis. There have been some bad years in the cocoa field with serious drought hammering them pretty hard. After hearing this horrible news I hopped on my handy dandy computer and started frantically researching how to prepare for this catastrophe. I know that back in the day chocolate was only reserved for royalty for special occasions. I don't think my relation to William the Conqueror would secure me the top spot of the worlds chocolate supply.

Discovery reported,"The price of cocoa, the raw ingredient for chocolate, has been skyrocketing in international markets. Demand for chocolate, especially for dark chocolate which uses more cocoa, has helped fuel price increases." What does this mean? Would chocolate chips disappear from the shelves? Would twist cones stop twisting? No more no bake cookies? Snickers? Or children with chocolate rings around their mouths?

I was freaking out about this cruel injustice happening to the world. When I was young, a wise man once taught me that if I fail to plan then I plan to fail. I needed a fool proof plan to keep that sweet goodness for generations of Doxeys to come. This is what I propose to the world to help curb this crisis. I call it 5 Steps To Sweetness.

The first step is to hire some experienced vampire hunters to put down Count Chocula. He has been a loose cannon for years in the chocolate industry and he has showed no signs of restraint.

Second, eliminate the fund raising option of selling chocolate bunnies for high school teams. I can't tell you how many thousands of pounds of chocolate are wasted on this. Also who likes eating cute hollow bunnies anyway? I always thought they should have been filled like Cadbury eggs, they would have sold better if they had been.

Third, outlaw chocolate fountains everywhere. I know that they have been a staple for the wedding industry for years but the amount of wasted chocolate isn't worth the risk during this crisis. Other viable options for wedding parties are Nacho Cheese, Ketchup, or even Marshmellow puff. We all need to make sacrifices until we can get this crisis resolved. Sorry Willy Wonka but your chocofall has got to go.

Fourth, start a chocolate budget with your families. For years food storage experts have recommended that you setup chocolate rations for your family to help get you through the inflation of chocolate prices until they lower. They recommend getting at least a years supply of chocolate and cocoa for each person in your family. I believe the average intake of a chocolate eating adult is 1-2 lbs a day. Adjust your budget according to your needs.

Fifth, make sure to pay attention because I can't stress this enough. Read the dates of the articles you are using to write a post. After writing this post I realized that my two references where written in 2007 and 2010. That really puts a damper on the validity of everything I have been saying. I guess the chocolate isn't really in crisis but in other news the sky is falling!